


Endlessly Circling

by Jux_ta_pose



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Romance, F/M, First Kiss, Idiots in Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 05:10:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21440749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jux_ta_pose/pseuds/Jux_ta_pose
Summary: Written as an answer to episodes 7 and 8 of Season Three of 'Anne with an E'(Spoilers for all of Season 3 so far, if you haven't seen maybe you don't want to read this)Finally these two fools might just be getting somewhere, my take on these episodes and more, wishful thinking on my behalf anyway. Anne/Gilbert pairing.If you like please comment/Kudos and thank you as always for reading my guff, always appreciated.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Comments: 10
Kudos: 128





	Endlessly Circling

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I didn't post last week I was having a hellish work week and the muse was on strike. This was a brilliant and harrowing last episode (can't believe there's only 2 more, I'm so sad I never want it to end.) Damn it there better be a season 4. The whole Ka'kwet running away from that awful catholic church, the next episode has to address this. I couldn't believe she made it home all that way alone, brave girl. Oh and shades of Bash and Miss Stacey pairing, hell yes!!!

Anne felt so confused and torn, not quite knowing what she should do and it was all Gilbert’s fault. He’d spun her around so many times, she felt dizzy even attempting to examine her own mind let alone her heart. 

From the first day they’d met in the forest when he’d rescued her from Billy’s wrath, till now Gilbert had been the one person to truly challenge her in every way more than any of her friends, more than Diana. 

That first day when she’d apologised for ignoring him and introduced herself to him. That lingering glance before Gilberts friends had dragged him away had set the pendulum in motion. 

It could not, would not stop…

She’d been told no, by her newly made friends. She could under no circumstances talk to the boy again, not even a glance, he was someone else's.

The pendulum just steamrolled through those puny barricades...

Anne had agreed readily to whatever they desired, she desperately wanted acceptance and friendship all those things that had rebuffed her efforts her whole life. 

But like a runaway train their chemistry could not be denied. Anne didn’t know it, or perhaps just didn’t care to peer to closely at their shared connection to acknowledge it.

Back then she covered up the uncomfortable butterflies in her stomach by ignoring them and convincing him of her absolute hostility for him. Oh, but that was a difficult thing to maintain and in the end Anne’s true nature was revealed.

Slowly, they became friends because keeping up pretences was just too exhausting. Friendship was safe and easily managed. 

Ha… 

Mistress fate had its hooks in deep by then, nothing short of amputation could have wrestled it free...

Anne just never questioned those lingering looks that didn’t belong in a friendship, that were never proper for something strictly amicable in nature. They would be having a perfectly lovely conversation and then time would cease, and they would end up staring at each other. Several thudding heartbeats later and the world would right itself like nothing untoward had happened. 

Things got complicated when Anne ended up being paired with Gilbert in dance practise. In truth it had been sneaking up on her for weeks, since the ‘take notice’ debacle when she tried to be a friend to Ruby but failed miserably.   
Throughout the dance they had grinned and laughed and outright flirted with each other. She had been sure of it, that Gilbert had been seducing her and she’d reacted in kind. 

Anne had been swept up with all those pent up feelings she had for so long kept tightly under wraps. She’d allowed him a glimpse of all that she kept inside her heart for him. That wasn’t something she did lightly for her heart was still slightly bruised and ever wary. Life before Avonlea had made her very guarded in those matters.

The fair and the introduction of Winifred Rose into her little world had slammed the gates around her heart once more. Unfortunately, like a living breathing entity the attraction for one of her best friends could not be stuffed back easily in its deep dark hole. It was here to stay, to taunt her so that she could no longer pretend it didn’t exist. 

Anne felt like a fool for believing she had his heart when all those looks had obviously meant nothing to him. So she endured all the chatter at the barn dance about Winnie and tried to push through wishing that they would lose interest and start talking about something else. 

She’d hoped for a distraction but nothing could have prepared her for Josie being assaulted by the duplicitous Mr Billy Andrews and the resulting confrontation. Not satisfied for one moment especially when most of the class seemed to side with the odious boy. She let her anger over giving Gilbert her heart translate onto paper, the disgust she felt for all mankind when it came to how most treated women. 

She’d been hasty with her prose and she paid the price for her relentless pursuit of the truth and ended up hurting someone greatly in the process. That had not been the intention to drag Josie into the mess she’d made.

Even after she’d attacked him personally, Gilbert had come to her rescue and somehow convinced most of the class to rally behind her which was no small feat. When the council threatened the future of the paper because of her naive willfulness she had felt such rage and despair. Gilbert had encouraged her to fight back.

Together they hatched a plan with the help of her school friends. They organised a protest which would culminate at the town hall. He stood by her side that morning scared that the others would not turn up. Whatever Gilbert had said on her behalf had overcome any doubts they might have had and she was ever grateful for his help. All of them had turned up even Prissy Andrews and it felt like such a momentous success as many citizens cheered them on. 

That night they had celebrated at Miss Stacey’s and it was all wonderful, everyone coming together for a common goal. Anne had taken a break from her refreshment duties, needing to reflect on the day alone, gazing up into a million stars and the fullest of milky moons it all added to the carefree feeling.

Gilbert like an apparition, appeared out of the darkness to congratulate her. He always had this uncanny ability to turn up when she was at her most vulnerable. He sat close beside her, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, looking as tempting as a midnight woodland creature bathed in moonlight could be to a girl so enraptured by the night.

She almost wished he wouldn’t hunt her down at every opportunity, especially when she was alone. She could feel the warmth of his skin just a hair's breadth away and at once everything seemed charged and butterflies raged in her tummy. She took a sip of punch to quell the nervous energy and then it happened again…

The pause in conversation that just invaded the moment with all it’s consuming tension that stretched into an eternity. 

It had to stop because again, he wasn’t hers…

So she mentioned Winnie and she left promptly before Gilbert had a chance to respond. It was only right to stop whatever had been running through their heads. 

He looked like he was going to kiss her and she wanted him to, badly. 

But that would have been wrong to entertain such thoughts. 

The next day arrived like all the others but this was to a school burnt to the ground and the printing press seemingly having not perished in the fire. This meant under the cover of darkness the council had seen fit to take the printing press like the cowards they were and set the school on fire as a final act. Men whose authority they didn’t like challenged by a bunch of defenseless children, like this action wouldn’t be fuel for further protests. They were petty and ridiculous, they would pay for such reprehensible conduct. 

But for now the looming Queen’s academy entrance examinations were more important. Studying in Miss Stacey’s home unfortunately had been the only option available. Jammed up together made for a very cozy if not distracting situation in which talk of Winnie and Gilbert’s engagement seemed to be the subject of much discussion. Anne felt very uncomfortable as Gilbert was sitting next to her again, at least they weren’t alone. 

She desperately wanted to confide in Diana all her thoughts and worries but they weren’t on speaking terms. Instead she had to bottle up her woes and march onwards. 

By the time the exam day approached she had squirrelled away those niggling urges for clarity when it came to Gilbert, just so she could concentrate on her academic future instead.

Then it was over, the exam completed, this part of their schooling...from here they were destined for greatness. I don’t think a single one of them quite believed their childhood was over and the wide world opened up before them, freedom never tasted so sweet.

All Anne’s classmates gathered at the ruins to celebrate. One of Billy’s old mates brought moonshine and the games began. The weight seemed to lift from Anne’s shoulders and just for a little while she wanted to forget about certain boys with dark curls that tumbled provocatively into their deep chocolate eyes, enigmatic eyebrows that seemed to start conversations all on their own…

Anne took a deep swallow and let those worries drift on the breeze. As night fell and everyone got more drunk there were games of ‘red rover’ and fantastical stories to weave and a sumptuous banquet to indulge in by moonlight and by a roaring bonfire. 

It was during one of these silly drunken yarns that demanded audience participation that Gilbert Blythe finally showed up alone. 

She didn’t see him at first, so absorbed by the sheer thrill of spinning with the wind whirling around her and her brain all fuzzy and cozily pleasant. The fire glowed like a welcome beacon, the wind caused the flames to shoot sparks into the air and they danced around her like tiny dazzling fairies... it was all so deliciously perfect and really really funny for some reason or another. 

She was having the most glorious time, as her hair whipped around her shoulders until everything came back into focus and there was Gilbert standing below her looking adoringly at her like she was the one he wanted by his side. 

She gulped and gave him her hand when he asked to speak with her. 

So like a lovesick fool she went and he started to tell her about his evening with the Rose’s and the offer Winnie’s father had made if he would propose to his daughter then he would guarantee him a place at the University of Paris... Sorbonne, his dream.

She immediately wished he hadn’t come, she didn’t want to know about his amazing future with Winifred. Why couldn’t he understand that without having to tell him outright. Why must she be his confessor, surely Moody was more suited. Anybody would do, besides herself. She was quickly becoming gloomily sober and all those feelings came rushing out to meet her and she felt sick to her stomach. 

He was all conflicted and perplexed on what to do and all Anne could do was gawp at him not understanding why he was hesitating on accepting. He loved Winnie and her parents were giving him everything he could possibly want, what could conceivably be the problem. 

Then Gilbert did something inexcusable he said there was “only one thing holding him back” and it didn’t dawn on her at first but he kept staring like she should know. 

Then all these half sentences started tripping out of her mouth, not quite understanding what it was he was exactly not saying to her but, also saying to her without words. Boys were impossible and frustrating couldn’t they just spell it out without so much drama. At the worst moment possible the girls all converged on them and pulled a dumbfounded Anne with them. 

She went along with them because Gilbert had thrown this decision at her and not really explained anything at all. He appeared devastated by her loss for words. Gilbert had promptly left her reeling, her evening ruined.

All night in bed she went over every detail of that conversation with Gilbert, she struggled to grasp at what exactly he’d been asking. Was he wanting to know if she could possibly love him, maybe marry him some day. He hadn’t actually said the words just those damnable eyes imploring at her, like she was supposed to pluck some kind of a clue from THAT!

Talking with Aunt Josephine had helped somewhat but without clarity of her own heart how could she even attempt to know the vague intentions of a boy whose conversation skills were severely lacking. Why hadn’t he demanded her attention that night, it’s not like Gilbert didn’t have the ability to do just that if he’d at least tried harder. 

Diana left a heartfelt message under her bedroom door and it was after they’d apologised to each other for the misunderstanding and reaffirmed their friendship that the veil lifted and Anne saw the whole truth. 

She was in love with Gilbert Blythe, but what now? 

Was it too late? Had he already taken the morning train to Charlottetown and was at this very moment falling to his knees before a gushing Winifred, the words, those simple but life changing words would be coming out of his mouth confidently. Those enchanting crinkles in the corner of his eyes as he beamed up at her and she giggled behind her hand. The one he wasn’t holding delicately and slipping a ring onto…

“Oh god NO…”

Diana lurched forward, touching Anne’s arm her forehead creased with concern. 

“ Are you alright, you look afflicted “

Anne scrambled to fix her braids but gave up as she was shaking and was, if anything, making them worse. 

“I had an epiphany and it wasn’t a pleasant one. I have to go see Gilbert, I have to know for sure.”

Diana nodded understanding her kindred spirits turmoil. 

“If Anne, Gilbert has indeed left. You’ll come to the house. Minnie May and myself will use all our means to distract you from your sorrow, promise me you will not weep alone.”

Anne smiled, hugging Diana tightly “I promise” She had missed her so dearly, how she could’ve thought that for one second Diana wasn’t a true friend she didn’t know. 

Running out of the house past a surprised Marilla. 

“Just going out for a quick errand, be back before dark “

Marilla shook her head giving Diana a raised eyebrow as the girl wandered past her in the kitchen.

“Is everything quite alright, you’d think graduating would have settled her somewhat, but not our Anne”

Diana smiled “I believe Miss Cuthbert that she will be quite alright.”

Marilla nodded in agreement, watching as Diana Barry made her way towards the Barry Farm. 

****************************

Anne was in such a hurry that she decided to take a quick detour through a small copse of trees to get to the Blythe Farm, this would bring her to the edge of the apple orchard. She should be able to spy from there if Gilbert was still home or if he had indeed been in a hurry to propose. 

In her haste she had tried to squeeze between two robust pine trees but their unforgiving branches snagged on one of her braids and she fell through the opening losing her ribbon in the process. 

It was a very undignified stumble that ended up with her hitting the hard earth of the orchard on her backside. For a second the pain left her breathless until laughter made her head whip around to glare daggers at Gilbert who was coming up the rise. His timing impeccable as usual, of course he would bare witness to her clumsiness and find humour in it. 

“And you desire to be a doctor and then laugh at your patient in considerable pain?” she admonished him for his ungentlemanlike ways. 

Gilbert reached her side, the mirth still dancing about his eyes. He extended his hand for her to grasp and she did just that as he pulled her to her feet.

Without letting go he tugged her closer cheekily and whispered.

“Would you like me to inspect it, in case something is broken?”

Anne’s mouth fell open, scandalised by his audacity.

“No... I would not Mr Blythe” and she whipped her hand out of his grasp.

Gilbert laughed, and pouted turning from her to walk back down the hill towards the house. That was until a clump of dirt hit him across the back. 

“Ouch, Miss Shirley-Cuthbert what on earth…” the next clump hit him in the chest, spraying dirt in all directions including his mouth and he stared back at her in amused surprise, wiping his mouth on the corner of his shirt. 

“What did I do to deserve this?” 

Anne was furious and she rushed at him with the intention of pushing him down the hill but he was ready for her and he caught her upper arms and spun them both around till he dropped her soundly on a patch of grass. 

Seating himself close beside her he held her hands as she fought him, till at last she calmed down.

“What did I do?” he beeseached, not letting go even after all the fight had left her completely. 

“What didn’t you do?” she scowled at him but he just looked confused and her shoulders slumped, defeated. 

“Explain yourself, Anne?” he said sternly, he grew tired of this game. 

“Did you do it?” 

“Do what exactly?” he answered warily. 

“Did you propose?”

Gilbert let go of Anne’s hands and shrunk back away from the girl, he needed some distance if they were going to have this conversation. 

“Did you?” Anne asked in a small voice.

Gilbert didn’t answer at first. 

“No, not yet.”

Anne snorted, shaking her head. 

Gilbert’s turn to narrow his eyes at her. 

“Oh, you find this funny then, my indecision on such important matters…” he sighed, picking at the grass at his feet. 

“Believe me, i’m not in a laughing disposition”

Gilbert watched her, he could never quite figure her out, she was a conundrum Miss Anne Shirley-Cuthbert. But that was what made her so fascinating to him if he was honest. She aroused such an awareness of the world that he wasn’t sure would have happened if she hadn’t walked into his life.

“Clearly you are angry with me. I'm never sure which Anne I’ll be conversing with today.”

Anne turned to glare at him. 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Gilbert eyebrows rose, “One minute you are attentive and supportive but then the next time you almost jump down my throat and you can’t get away from me quick enough. It’s enough to make a man feel unwanted”

Anne was clearly disturbed by his explanation, but he wasn’t wrong, she knew she’d been awful to him sometimes but it just seemed like the nature of their relationship. The fierce competition between them that had now transformed into a close friendship. 

“I’ll admit that you are right, there have been situations when I’ve been frustrated with you and I’ve berated you. I apologise.”

He was staring at her again but she refused to be drawn in and instead chose to gaze off into the distance. 

“You still haven’t explained what has made you so vexed that you attacked me.” 

Anne snapped to her feet and marched into orchard, weaving around the trees aimlessly muttering to herself. 

Gilbert followed but came at her from the opposite direction, she was startled by his nearness and forced to place her hands on his chest or collide into him. 

“You really don’t know do you, you’re completely clueless?” she gazed imploringly up at him

Gilbert shook his head, peering down at her, enjoying the closeness and the feel of her warm hands through his shirt. He’d be more than happy to stay in this position for most of the day if it meant she wouldn’t stop touching him, stop searching for an answer in his eyes. Damn it, how was he supposed to give this up. 

“Do you remember last night” she could see each fleck of colour in his irises, all warm and inviting, he blinked and his pupil expanded momentarily, those dark lashes stroked his cheek.

“Of course” he uttered, his hands itched to touch her pale cheeks but that seemed too forward, he didn’t want to spook her. 

“And how you told me that Winifred’s father offered up everything you ever wanted on a silver plate. Those were your words weren’t they?”

Gilbert began to feel uncomfortable at the mention of Winifred and he reluctantly backed away from Anne and everything he hungered for. 

“Yes, something along those lines” and it was his turn to wander around the orchard, staring blankly at the ground.

“What did I say next?”

Gilbert glanced at Anne and sighed not answering. 

“Gilbert, what did I say?”

Gilbert’s chin rose to face her. 

“You asked why I could possibly have a problem with that. The means to acquire my dream and study at the Sorbonne which was an impossible fantasy until that moment, to live in Paris. Of course I would have to agree to marry Winnie”

Anne nodded sadly. “Yes and then what did you say to my query?”

Gilbert shuffled his feet, kicking up wads of dry dusty red soil with his boots. He cleared his voice. 

“I said there was only one thing holding me back…”

Anne watched him carefully “And…”

Gilbert looked confused. 

“And what... did you elaborate on that cryptic answer?”

“I was staring at you, I thought that you would know, just know what I meant…” he knew he was getting defensive. He was thinking that he’d made a grave mistake. Why hadn’t he just said the actual words. Everyone from school had been there but that wasn’t an excuse he should have told her outright”

“Exactly” she muttered, turning her back on him.

Anne looked so sad and defeated and angry all in the same breath. 

“I assumed you were telling me you had feelings for me but I didn’t know for sure. We were friends and out of nowhere you are confessing maybe that you love me. It’s like you wanted me to make that decision for you and yet how could I say don’t marry Winifred when she can give you all you desire. It wasn’t fair to throw this all on me. This could be your one chance to study at the Sorbonne of all places. To live in Paris and have a lovely wife and companion at your side.”

Gilbert flew to her side and gathered Anne’s shaking body in his arms, his cheek resting in her hair as he whispered urgently.

“I’m so sorry Anne, I shouldn’t have put you in that position. It was inexcusable of me to lay that at your feet, I’m more sorry than you can imagine. I just thought maybe...but it was wrong of me. You have a perfect right to be upset with me.” 

Anne was annoyed because the tears were falling and landing on his shirt and he was so comforting and wonderful, it was killing her to be in his arms but feel that he was slipping away from her. She didn’t want to let him go, because she thought of him as hers, she wanted to be selfish for once and damn the consequences. Lifting her head from his shoulders she dared herself to be brave, to be the heroine in her own little story. 

“What if I said… Don’t marry Winifred.”

Gilbert’s mouth opened in surprise and he stared not quite believing what she had so boldly asked of him.

“What did you say?”

Anne bit her lip and smiled hopefully up at him.

“I think you heard me just fine Mr. Blythe” she teased. 

Gilbert laughed, quirking an eyebrow.

“I do believe that I heard nothing of the sort. I think you might just have to repeat it so we can clarify things once and for all”

Anne’s eyes couldn’t help but wander to his lips and then back to his eyes. It was so naughty being this brazen but he responding to her like never before. Gilbert gulped, he swayed towards her bewitchingly, his breath forfeit, for she would be the death of him if she kept this up. 

“I love you” she whispered across his lips.

Gilbert groaned out loud, the backs of his fingers sliding down her delectable jaw. Leaning forward he pressed his lips to hers gently. He watched as her eyes slid shut and her arms wrapped around his neck tightly, she looked so blissful and an enticing blush appeared on her cheeks and down the lingering length of her throat. She was definitely going to be the death of him.

With a squeal from Anne, Gilbert lifted her off her feet and angled his head for a much more satisfactory kiss, slanting his open mouth over hers and daringly sliding the tip of his tongue against her teeth. She gasped entranced by his impulsive move even if it was entirely too wicked. 

With a reluctant sigh, he placed her back on her feet and stepped a respectable distance away from a stunningly flustered Anne.

“You are far too tempting” Gilbert ran his hands over his shirt in an attempt to straighten the fabric and then comb his fingers through his hair to wrestle back his control. Anne was aghast at the state of her hair with one braid intact and the other completely unraveled. She quickly released the other braid and combed her loose hair over her shoulders. She was in such a mess. 

She stopped when she became exceedingly aware that someone was watching her actions closely. The blush that had seemingly not as yet receded, flashed hotly over her entire face at the blatant leer. Gilbert was grinning at her with such open affection, she was quite in awe.

“Just in case it wasn’t apparent, I wouldn’t want anything misunderstood. I love you too Anne”

Anne bit her bottom lip and beamed back at him shyly. 

~FIN~


End file.
